Fiery Fred

This theory was developed during a blether with my brother in law that started to get sillier the more we unpacked it. This is as far as we got. Please feel free to enhance the theory with your own observations

The theory is that a sermon, as delivered by a preacher/minister, can be considered to be quantised. A sermon consists of one or more points so each point can be considered a quanta. The generally held principle is that a sermon consists of three points all with an equal lifetime; some sermons break this principle and consist of lots of points with a short lifetime or one single point that has an apparent infinite lifetime. Points can either be negative or positive. A negative point will depress the congregation and a positive point will lift the spirits of the congregation. If a sermon has an equal number of negative and positive points then it can be considered to have no point. If the minister is speaking and it is not possible to quantise what is being said, then it is no longer a sermon but can be considered a ramble.

This brings us onto the equivalent of the Schrodinger’s cat experiment. If a minister is locked into a church building with no congregation it is not possible to determine if he is delivering a sermon or a ramble. Opening the door to find out will cause the minister to collapse in shock that someone has come to hear him speak.

Tags: Quantum. Sermons

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